Well, first off, I’m not talking about ROMANTIC jealousy today.
Like, trying to keep those nagging thoughts out of your mind when your handsome husband goes off on vacation by himself…😉
Nope, today I’m going to be talking about the type of jealousy we don’t talk about as much…which is jealousy of our peers, of the “Joneses.” Of what other people look like and what they have accomplished.
Have you become an intensely jealous person who can’t be happy for other people without getting down on yourself and your own progress? You might not think so, but a lot of us have become Jealous Janes and Joes, without even realizing it.
Journalist Mandy Stadtmiller wrote a great piece on how she became a very jealous person without even being aware of it.
She fell into this ritual of starting every work day sitting down at her desk with her coffee and bagel… and looking up friends and acquaintances on Google and social media.
She’d see that this one friend of hers just got a book deal, her cousin is vacationing in the Bahamas, that one acquaintance of hers is working the dream job she’s always wanted… and while we all do this, the trouble is we’re probably doing it without realizing how it can affect our self-worth and make us say mean things to ourselves!!
Statdmiller said that the social media check ended up feeling like a “workout” she needed to do every day, but not a workout that made her feel good. Instead, it was one that made her feel alert, anxious, angry…and addicted.
She says she thinks she got addicted to this behavior of comparing herself to others and seeing herself as inferior, because she: felt like she deserved this feeling, and because it was an activity she had control over. After all, being able to control WHEN you feel disappointed in yourself is better than that feeling coming out of nowhere, right?
“Search. Read. Hate myself. Repeat,” she says in the article.
So I know most of us aren’t as competitive, insecure, and extreme as her, but nonetheless I think we all have this problem of comparing ourselves to others…quenching that curiosity of how we measure up…like an itch we can’t scratch!
I know I had that feeling in one of my first yoga classes I done for a while. Since I’m not the biggest on yoga, I don’t feel as confident with it as I do with other exercises!! So I kept looking around to see how everyone else was doing.
But now I see, the only thing that accomplished was taking away from my performance even more, by paralyzing me, and putting me “in my own head” even more!! I had to learn how to get rid of jealousy…by keeping my head down and my mind on MYSELF!
If your brain is more concentrated on what everyone else is doing, then obviously you’re not able to put your whole attention on YOURSELF to improve!
Instead, I think it’s probably a lot better to take a quick detox break from social media all together, so you can get some space from what everyone else is doing and (as cheesy as it sounds) find yourself!!
That’s how to get rid of jealousy!
Again, I know most people’s jealousy isn’t as bad as this woman’s was, but I think it’s still a pervasive part of our culture because we’re taught to be so competitive. A little friendly competition is good, but not if you’re on social media every day addicted to these questions of, “What is so-and-so up to? Are they doing better than me?”
A little friendly competition is good, but not if you’re on social media every day addicted to these questions of, “What is so-and-so up to? Are they doing better than me?”
Then, How to Get Rid of Jealousy, Step 2:
And, one of the easiest goals to can get started on, and easily track the results of, is: diet!
My books, The 8 Hour Abs Diet and The M.A.D.E. Diet, both outline very concrete goals for a healthier lifestyle.
Both of my books are step-by-step guides, and the reason I did that is so you can really feel the sense of accomplishment of checking items off as you go!!
I believe the true path to motivation, self-esteem, and action is not by looking at someone else’s accomplishments on social media…but instead cracking open that book, and getting started ON YOU!