The YouTube channel “Charisma on Command” makes a lot of videos about how to charm people — not in a manipulative way, but how to speak and act so people LIKE you.
That’s easy for outgoing extroverts who naturally enjoy being the life of the party.
But what about those of us who are naturally shy and awkward, instead? How do we turn those traits into a POSITIVE so that people don’t think we’re aloof or snobbish with our quiet ways?
They open the video by saying, an introvert’s way to win people over is STILL by charming them…but in more subtle ways. We may not be flirtatious or confident or “schmoozing”…
Keanu Reeves rarely likes to take credit for his accomplishments. Giving a speech for the premiere of his newest John Wick movie, he says, “I am not here without working with such talented artists…without all of what you did for me, I would not be here…”
Now, of course a lot of celebs do this, and we tend to like them for their humility! But what Keanu ALSO does is redirect compliments he gets…
In a Buzzfeed video where Keanu plays with puppies while answering questions (um, how to make friends as an introvert…bring puppies!!), he is asked “What is your secret for always staying down-to-earth?”
“…Well, I mean, gravity,” Keanu answers.
And OK, you might be thinking, “So the answer to ‘how to make friends as an introvert” is, “NEVER be proud of yourself or take a compliment?”
That’s not what I mean, don’t worry!
Like “Charisma on Command” says, it’s not about thinking less of yourself…It’s about thinking of yourself less! So if you OCCASIONALLY don’t accept credit or a compliment, it shows you’re not all about you. Of course, if you never accept a compliment, people will think of you as a NEGATIVE person.
Overall, the “trick” when it comes to how to make friends as an introvert is to use your words (and because you’re an introvert, there will be fewer of them!!) to bring people up and make them feel good.
It’s, like, an alternative way to be the life of the party!
On that note, what else does Keanu do to win fans over? Well, there was the time his flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles had to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield. Rather than act like a whiny star, he rode in a van with other passengers and shyly entertained them by reading facts about California to them off his iPhone! So yes, he still gets a little nervous in front of people even as a big star, but he was able to get around that issue by reading facts from his phone…so, still looking friendly!
How could you apply that in your daily life? Well, you could get your conversation partner(s) started on a topic, like TV shows or movies. That way you’re in a comfortable territory, able to talk about something familiar and, uh, not have to talk about yourself!!